Musings From The Farm Comfortable living in your own skin

Being a grandmother is one of the most rewarding and fun seasons in my life. I always felt cheated as a child, that all I had was a somewhat grumpy grandma. My grandma was widowed at a young age with two little boys during the depression. I felt sorry for her, but she was not fun like some of my friends doting grandmothers. (In the picture on the left my grandma is the one on the right. Ironically the woman on the left looking less than happy is my mother’s friend, Aunt Ella, who lived with us at that time. I remember her as being a very kind lady and have happy memories of her. By the way, the picture is also of my dad and sisters. I’m the little girl in pink! )

So far, my husband and I have been blessed with four grand children. Number one is a four-year-old girl. Number two is a two and a half year old girl. Number three and four are twins, a boy and a girl, and just 4 months old. Number one had to have heart surgery at three months. We were expecting a week of recovery and then home, but it turned into over a month in the intensive care, a second surgery and two bouts with pneumonia. During that time being a grandmother involved lots of praying and supporting our poor little number one’s parents so they could stay at the hospital with her. She did recover and has grown into her beautiful indomitable little self. She was born with Down syndrome, but that doesn’t keep her down and she charms everyone she meets.

Number two is a whole different story. She burst into the world just before Christmas, a sublime gift with a bald head and deep blue eyes. She was content and such an easy baby and as time went on, she took quite an interest in all the therapists that visited their home to help her big sister. When she was about 18 months she decided she was all grown up and headed into the terrible twos. Now with her big blues eye and long golden curls she melts the hardest heart.

I love the time I get to spend with the. But I find that even as grandma I have to say no at times. Like when they cry because they wants to stay and play, or have another ice pop when it is time to go home. Being a grandmother also gives me opportunity to share things I love and teaching them that fun and work go hand in hand. I grew up with horses but, we didn’t have horses when my children were little. But I am glad that I get to share my love of horses with my grandchildren when they are so young. They love the horses enough that they help to brush them and even do a few things they don’t want to because it is part of being able to ride. Like putting saddles away.  Being a grandmother is more than just fun, it is teaching responsibility too. I am so blessed that I get to be a grandmother.

We have never believed in making life easy for our kids. We thought that if you make life easy as a child, as they grow up they have unrealistic expectations and turn into unhappy adults. We didn’t buy them a lot of toys. I often told Dean I was glad we were poor when the kids were little so we couldn’t buy them all the popular toys. We went so far as to give away toys they had received as gifts from friends and relatives if we didn’t think they were worthwhile. That only worked for a few years though.

When our children were nine and six years old we moved out to the country on a run down farm. They loved the freedom of running through the open fields. We lived in a tent for four months while we gutted and rebuilt the farmhouse. We all worked hard from morning to night, but our children were genuinely happy. We had already decided we would start homeschooling our kids but decided to wait until the next year when the house project was done (or at least further along) and we also could research just how we would go about homeschooling. When September rolled around I cautioned our children to never tell anyone at school you live in a tent. I was concerned someone might want to come investigate our “home”.

Our kids helped in all aspects of gutting and restoring our house. They carried armloads of debris out to the dumpster and even helped with the plumbing.

Ok, don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t all work; we did get them each a kitten, which lived with us, and our dog in our tent. Sometimes they would draw on the backs of the stacks of sheetrock that we were going to put up on the walls. They enjoyed helping to measure mark and cut. In their spare time we asked our kids to pick up the old rusty nails that littered our driveway. If they picked up a full coffee can of nails, we paid them with a trip to town to get an ice cream.

That spring we planted a huge garden and our chief planters, weed pullers, and bug pickers were our two kids. I was amazed how hard they worked without complaints. Livestock was the next project on our list. When we finished rebuilding the chicken coop and the barn we bought two goats (my daughter wanted a horse but had to make due with  goat) and several chickens, our kids were responsible for their total care. Our daughter got up early and milked the goat and our son collected eggs, feed and watered the chickens before they went to school. Those years were full of learning difficult lessons by experience and receiving the rewards for their hard work.

Looking back, I see how those hard life lessons were making life easy for them as adults. Not really making life easy, but teaching them useful skills. Beyond, plumbing and gardening, it taught them how to work hard, to not be afraid to try, never say can’t and to handle life’s challenges with grace. There is a quote I recently came across that I really like; “Don’t handicap your children by making their lives easy.” Robert A. Heinlein

If you think there seem to be more complaints of skin allergies, dermatitis and eczema, you are right. There has been a significant increase in reports of skin ailments in the past two years. Some dermatologists are suspecting a link between preservatives used in cleaning products and cosmetics. Most of these cases are some type of contact dermatitis, in other words, an allergy to something that has had contact with the skin.  Many people with skin allergies or irritations do not realize how often they may come in contact with a preservative. Preservatives are necessary if you have a cleanser or cosmetic that contains water. Without them products with water would grow harmful bacteria and fungus that can cause severe illness. Finding one that is effective at inhibiting bacterial growth without causing skin irritation is very difficult, especially for people with sensitive skin. Sometimes a manufacturer will use high concentrations of preservative to avoid spending time and money to formulate a stable product with the least concentration of preservative to be effective.

Today people use many products that contain one or more preservatives. Skin care products have been found to account for the majority of cases of allergic contact dermatitis, and how uncomfortable it can be…yet so many just live with it! From baby wipes to mascara, people are being exposed to more preservatives more often. Some products with preservatives, like dish washing liquid are not required to list their ingredients making it difficult try to avoid preservatives if you think they are a problem for you. Preservatives are used in concentrations such as  .005 parts per million to be effective, but even at these low concentrations they can be causing problems for the 1% of the population that are sensitive to them. If you are having skin irritations, try avoiding preservatives in products that come in contact with your skin and see if that makes a difference.  We choose to make our products without water so there is no need to add preservatives. You can feel comfortable using Alabu Skin Care for sensitive skin.